Happy Never After

My friends can keep telling me that I can`t find love this young, but I will never believe them.

I went the past five years not even believing love could exsist. I was firm in my decision. It was a fairy tale. Happy ever after? More like happy NEVER after. And then he came along.



I was introduced to him, and he acted cold. Which normally would be a turn off, but it made me curious. I also of course noticed his looks. Striking was my adjective of choice. I wanted to get to know him, figure out who he was, what he liked. I also quickly came to realize I wanted to know whether he could like me.

First we became friends. Started hanging out after school, in the evenings...It was the happiest I had been in a long time. We talked all the time, it became my constant reply when asked who I was texting. Slowly, he managed to peel back what seemed to be every layer of myself. He made me feel special. Like I was somebody. I still didnt believe in love, but he seemed determined to prove me wrong.

When we finally got together, everything just seemed right. He was my everything. And I knew that I couldnt deny it any longer. I completley, utterly, and unconditionally loved him. And for whatever reason, he loved me too...

I was happy. My friends hated my sickening, constant, love quotes and sayings and pictures. I adored them. I liked myself, I loved my boyfriend, and for the most part I enjoyed my life. When things got bad, I had him. I trusted him with my life, and my heart.

It ended. I cried, I screamed. I did everything that I could do in an attempt to make it stop hurting. I've realized now, that is doesnt stop hurting. It still hurts just as much today as it did the day we broke up. And I dont see the pain going away anytime soon. I made him my everything, and as a result, I am now left with nothing. But I wouldnt take any of it back for the world. He still has every part of me. He is still my everything, and I still love him and would do anything for him. I said forever and always. And that isnt going to end anytime soon.

You can tell me all you want that I dont love him. That we cant find love at this time in our lives. You're wrong. It may seem mean to put it so bluntly, but I dont care. Nothing anybody says will convince me that I dont feel for him the way I do. Over the time we were friends and together, he became my Stupid Hockey Player, and he will be that forever and always. Im in love with him, it's simple as that. Whether I'm broken or whole, happy or sad, mad or calm, depressed or overjoyed, busy or bored, he's alway on my mind, and he's always in my heart. No matter the things he does that annoy me or make me mad or hurt me, I still feel the same for him. I still want to be with him. You can tell me thats not love, but I cant think of a better expression for what love is then that.